Years have come and gone since

Years have come and gone since
You passed away that day

My arms are still outstretched

For you to come and stay

On Carl’s fog you left me

Succumbed to your own fate

I miss your company

Without eyelids I wait

Here at the beginning

Here at the beginning

Another chance to start

Begin again as fresh

Like night and its first star

Knowing what’s gone is gone

It’s about to happen

Clean slate, new coat of paint

Opposite of has been

World invading my world

World invading my world

I’m angered ‘til the end

No wonderment of peace

The World is creeping in

I want to make it stop

Yet, I have no control

The World commits its crimes

And always gets parole

I am searching here for peace

I am searching here for peace

And yet I find a rumble

Silence is the only Truth

But I can hear a mumble

I have given up on grace

Never are the stars aligned

I am seeking without might

And I find myself resigned

Some days then not another

Some days then not another

I’m defying gravity

Here is where the sky meets land

And my creativity

Is born on air, its parent

Is the essence of alive

The words are written for me

All I do is just transcribe

At dusk in the winter

At dusk in the winter

The end of the sun blink

Behind the clouds and trees

I watch it slowly sink

The impossible dream

My youth, it has been spent

Now older looking back

Wondering where it went

Remember this moment

Remember this moment
The day all wrapped in light
Statue of Liberty
Always within our sight

A warm day in winter
We’re off the beaten track
Manhattan before us
Shared years upon our back

I remember a time and know

I remember a time and know

That only I will understand

But I cannot translate it to

Paper, or play or music grand

Yet I can call it up the ranks

And surface it in present tense

It defines me and I know when

I go, it goes, no evidence

There is more space for stars

There is more space for stars

More ocean for the whales

As the mountains divide

The vast and open wide

There is emptiness here

I struggle for the whole

There are stars that are dead
But fire in the coal

I am absent in Life

I am absent in Life

Until I come to this

I am here for it now

As the notes start to shift

And the tune sweeps in space

And when I hear your voice

Then I join the living

Without making a choice

On this my journey home

On this my journey home

The sun sets on the land

It flickers through the trees

I block it with my hand

The clouds made by airplanes 

Are born on courses skew

Puffed up then criss-crossing

Across the final blue

Not in this place and not

Not in this place and not

Living in the moment

In fall thinking winter

Sitting wanting movement

Not reflecting backwards

The past was meant to fade

Trying to control time

In what has not been made

Tired of my lessons

Tired of my lessons

But do not want to teach

While wisdom is peeking

It’s too far out of reach

Too tired to ask myself

Instead it’s come what may

Even a broken timepiece

Is right two times a day

I am too serious

I am too serious

I have the furrowed brow

I look at Life squarely

That throws curves at me now

Surrender illusions

Finally find the real

Think more about my thoughts

And less of how I feel

Coming out of the void

Coming out of the void

I should sing like a bird

But I haven’t a voice

And my sounds are absurd

Caught living but not Life
To know I have not won

Not master and missing

My own chorus unsung

The sun slowly rises

The sun slowly rises

And then it slowly sets

And somewhere in daylight

My shadow comes to rest

Two days to breathe again

To venture out in light

To ask time to slow down

While I attempt my flight

Out of the abstract

Out of the abstract

And into a field

Away from the black

Towards what is real

A slow waltzing step

My third eye can see

No longer held kept

At last I am free

Painting in a fury

Painting in a fury

Look at the flying crows

Cawing over the fields

Above the spreading rows

The clouds they huff and puff

And billow out the sun

The path is bent and ends

Not far from its begun

I’m making mosaics

I’m making mosaics

With the shapes I have found

I’m back to the basics

Square, triangle and round

Discarding the pieces

That never seem to fit

Like writing my thesis

But with shapes, grout and grit

It’s no more than a scratch

It’s no more than a scratch

Yet I think it slays me

Are the odds clearly stacked

So strongly against me

So bewitched with the past

The past is a fooler

What was once set with diamonds

But time's not a jeweler

Here at the Equinox

Here at the Equinox

The weather could be Spring

But the trees look like fall

They add another ring

The birds fly in chevron

The air is growing cold

Soon they will be leaving

Another year is old

So here I am pointing

So here I am pointing

At a transparent moon

The hostas are finished

The asters in full bloom

The trees in painted light

Cast shadows on the land

And up the rising hill

Is where I'll climb to stand

The droning symphony

The droning symphony

Of the fall cicada

And the departing flight

Of geese from Canada

And in the slanted light

Last days of summer raid

Like the start of past tense

When memories are made

My dream is young

My dream is young

But now I’m old

Songs left unsung

No longer bold

Can’t manage time

Perhaps I’m weak

By choosing lines

That need no tweak

I am falling under

I am falling under

A wave I cannot cross

When I try to break through

My strength is at a loss

I look for the seashore

The light, the sun above

My eyes slowly closing

Black birds that once were doves

Cover me, my ocean

My grave is but the sea

I breathe water only

No air is there for me

And when the light was mine

And when the light was mine

And I had kept the flame

You only blew and then

And then the darkness came

And did you need to feel

That eyes that are so blind

Could but only cry out

Cry out for you to find

And did you need to feel

The fear perhaps my light

Could shine so far beyond

Beyond your furthest sight

Ugh this ugly head

Ugh this ugly head

This tenth anniversary that towers

The sky without planes

And the tragic loss of gentle flowers

We’re not free of threat

Remember sunny Tuesday up in smoke

We will not forget

How the twenty-first century awoke

Be intimate with you

Be intimate with you

With words I touch a nerve

To find the infinite

To make your lifeline curve

Gentle like fireflies

Yet make the fire roar

To crash my ocean wave

Against your open shore

To have been the revolution

To have been the revolution

At the top of the crest

Achieving a resolution

Chaos becoming rest

No longer feeling relevant

And finding history

Once charging like an elephant

Now sleeping like a bee

Send this sorrow to bed

Send this sorrow to bed

No longer in my day

Forever in my head

Just send it on its way

Just shed this memory

Let it fall at my feet

Better to discard it

Than in the mind repeat

Time did not ask of us

Time did not ask of us

It left us undisturbed

The days spent in waiting

My heart restrained and curbed

Time did not ask of us

It lay there in slumber

Gave us bright and dark

So we could keep the number

So the light begins to slant

So the light begins to slant

The brightest light is light gold

As the fall starts to advance

The year growing a year old

The time is almost timeless

The white clouds are full in rows

As if the day were mindless

Sparrows casting long shadows

I have been everywhere

I have been everywhere

But my destination

It’s like looking at stars

But not constellations

I have always been on

A singular mission

But here I am pointless

Without definition

It is us who share the moment

It is us who share the moment

As if it were an elephant

And we harbor this passing gift

Though very insignificant

So casual yet full of care

We are mindful of the time spent

Now you are there and I am here

Both of us were destined to went

How wide is the doorway

How wide is the doorway

How big is this door

That opens to the World

That I have ignored

Can I free my word scapes

Set sail on this sea

And through this needle’s eye

Sew the threads of me

So here I am waiting

So here I am waiting

For you to scrape with death

Perhaps it will promote

Peaceful and common rest

Perhaps an autumn chill

Will soon be in your path

And end your summer years

And put them in the past

A valid scrape with death

Could bring us common ground

And fill this canyon ours

And turn this all around

But here I have to wait

Cannot discard my knows

When you’re summer flowers

And I've seen winter snows

Already gone

Already gone

And still I followed

A dream disappearing

Only hollow

I wrapped my arms

Just for me to hold

All the warmth of a dream

But found it cold

Leaving, slowly turning

Leaving, slowly turning

As the day rushes without thought

Flying emotions glide and dive

Like a kite in a tree caught

Left entirely still

As the day sits in changing light

Trying to retrieve happiness

Of moments in joyous flight

And you will not cease

And you will not cease

Although I may go

The wind on your leaves

Will continue so

And the sun will blaze

Causing you to shade

Though I am away

From your branches braid

You are not aware

The sorrow this brings

Nor the joys we share

Underneath your wings

The wind on your leaves

Will continue so

Another to see

Because I must go

My hands in ash and yet I grasp

My hands in ash and yet I grasp

And snuff its grayish flake

My death has past and yet I last

And live in anguish state

My birth is here and yet I fear

And wish on starry fate

My feet in step and yet I tread

And die at living's gate

As I fell I reached

As I fell I reached

My arms for you to hold

Your strength could offer peace

But your hands released

As I fell I screamed

My voice for you to hear

Your ear could hear my wave

But my life you would not save

As I fell I died

A death for you to weigh

Your eyes could see my grave

But they're shut and turned away

Take me from this garden

Take me from this garden

The roses are too red

Green ivy is growing

It bounds above my head

Take me from this garden

For I would rather know

Life and all its living

Than safely kept to grow

Silver green meadow

Silver green meadow

Here’s where I mourn

The end of a dream

Tattered and torn

The rays of the sun

Are kept behind

A slow autumn cloud

Above the pine

Beneath a tree

Beneath a tree

With branches high

We sat and breathed

An endless sigh

Time escaped us

Not like that oak

Its rings are proof

For it to boast

No past is mine

I’ve claimed no hours

I sat in sun

Far from showers

For present time

We joined as three

On a hillside

Beneath a tree

So why does my heart beat

So why does my heart beat

Much faster on defeat

When success strolls around

It beats as still as ground

And why does my sadness

Take happiness away

When joy jumps up to dance

Gravity wants to slay

No bouquet of verses

No bouquet of verses

Just a little green sprig

Fitting in a walnut

A universe so big

And why would someone care

About this moment small

This glance up to the sun

This gesture standing tall

I’ve walked this so often

I’ve walked this so often

So why remember this

The sunlight through closed eyes

Like I was making wish

Nothing was worth noting

I hadn’t thought of this

I was for a moment

A morning moon transfixed

To finally find the answer

To finally find the answer

That ends this confusing riddle

Inside these lines, phrases dangled

Participles in the middle

To finish the words and give birth

While keeping the music and beat

Putting just eight lines together

And to have the thoughts be complete

I am new in an ancient world

I am new in an ancient world

Not much older than these white clouds

That come and go within my view

Like New York City crowds

I do not believe in old souls

Cumulative wisdoms don’t add up

We thirst for knowledge but we start

With just an empty cup

A moment in the infinite

A moment in the infinite

A seagull crests and falls

Above your head while music plays

In this most common place of all

This gull has given up the sea

A strange place to arrive

Like you gave up a perfect gift

It's so difficult to survive

Always feeling like I’m clover

Always feeling like I’m clover

So then why am I so lonely

Side by side we stand together

But I’m feeling one and only

A mountain peak in a mountain range

Yet ocean waves return to home

Common as we stand together

But so singularly I roam

Here I am an iota

Here I am an iota

Searching for utopia

Yet I am losing sleep

Lost on dreams I cannot keep

Again the common clover

When it’s all said and over

One day I’ll not awake

Even if the bough should break

Travelling alone and lonely

Travelling alone and lonely
All in a summer night

On an empty roadway

With billboards all in lights

I am singing all the verses

And when the chorus comes

Alone with all the notes
That slowly turn to hums

How old is this story

How old is this story

How long is this line

Never ending syllables

Never reaching rhyme

No final chapter ending

No cover here to shut

How old is this story

These endless ifs ands or but

You and I have heard

You and I have heard

That one syllable so strong

That a thousand words can’t fight

Or prove it to be wrong

It makes us understand

Life has its undertow

When the world keeps echoing

This one syllable we know

But we cannot tell them

It is something they must know

If anyone is to ask of it

We will have to tell them no

You are so self-centered

You are so self-centered

Each radius starts here

Outward to an unknown

A space you call your sphere

All of your thoughts are I

You cannot feel our feel
Arguments become an
Injury that can't heal

A house of creativity

A house of creativity

To add to the wealth

We are rich though we are poor

We just give ourself

A house of creativity

The doors hinged on art

We’ve the keys to open them

And we have the heart

So difficult to speak

So difficult to speak

Are we no longer friends

Perhaps all we have are

Unraveling of ends

I know that you are there

But still we used to speak

When we were worlds apart

Upon two mountain peaks

Yes the time has changed me

Yes the time has changed me

And I have lost the cause

And the why and the wherefores

And the because

But the future is not lit

By the hapless lightning

Only reaching for the tallest
Objects in my sighting

I mentioned my wants

I mentioned my wants

And still I’m on stairs

Not knowing the words

The whys or the wheres

And sure was my sight

I seek far and near

The sun gives me light

While shadows are here

Here is an answer without question

Here is an answer without question

Some of us find themselves a life

While I in my labyrinth find puzzles

That twist and turn lefts into right

Diamond among emeralds

Diamond among emeralds

I wallow in worry

The World is calling you

It’s all in a fury

The still moon is still there

And there still is one sun

But the earth beneath you

Is now too wide to run

Tortured beginnings

Tortured beginnings

Hard knocks to follow

The taste of pain can

Be hard to swallow

Now a memory

That time cannot fade

Never goes away

And never finds shade

Still I am counting suns

Still I am counting suns

The moon a cyclic friend

I’m aging quickly now

Past halfway to the end

Stars in a season sky

Comets that come and go

Who will take care of me

When I have grown too old

All of the wonder

All of the wonder

This feeling of height

And grandeur of width

Go out like a light

All that I learn now

May not find morning

So gather today

What I am yearning

As the light comes to my eyes

As the light comes to my eyes

Through broken clouds, through autumn sky

I see the path through the woods

Beyond the river passing by

As I take my path that leads

Out of the woods, out of the trees

The light fallen in my eyes

The clouds have joined for winter skies

Thinking of the butterfly

Thinking of the butterfly

That no one ever sees

Alongside the equally

Anonymous of bees

Here is the Life their living

Although we cannot see

Only just to be yourself

None other than to be

I am thinking of you

I am thinking of you

But my fields are empty now

With winter all settled in

I have no need to plow

Though I’m dreaming of you

It’s not the planting season

I could be there for you now

But there is no reason

There is a magnolia

There is a magnolia

Just outside in view

Again, it is early

For the coming You

Two daffodils nod yes

It is truly You

They join in the error

Oh, how sad a view

My entrance is clear

My entrance is clear

Breaking the light

That’s catching the dust

Floating in flight

I fear far too much

On paths that don’t lead

Best to stay still

Not move, plant my seed

Grace was residing everywhere

Grace was residing everywhere
Making a home on each powdered limb
The frosted trees were etching lines
Like lace to break the blowing wind

And I intruded and slowly cut
A path between the trees that stood
They stared and eyed and coldly cried
Dropping snow from their creaking wood

We vanish like a season

We vanish like a season
Though strong, we cannot wait
Time erodes and erases
Everything it makes

Before we lose to time
Say what must be said
After this storm has ended
One of us might be dead

Maybe you'll come back

Maybe you'll come back
Now that I am near
Why is it you're gone
Now that I am here

Maybe you'll come back
No longer be astray
Why is it you're gone
Now that I have stayed

I turn around and walk

I turn around and walk
The sun against my back
I chase the shadow me
That dances dressed in black

A corner more then home
And to my quiet gate
And a slowly changing light
That moves in rooms 'til late

On a night filled with moon

On a night filled with moon

And clouds like glaciers glide

I rest my head upon a dream

That is wide as ocean wide

The dream is strong and young

And is new then new again

It ages and is born once more

Like crashed waves that still ascend

When will my anger unroll and shout

When will my anger unroll and shout

It lies like a pill bug inside of me

I touch it and it won’t come out

Tucking itself into a ball tightly

It waits for peace and then comes out

When all is quiet and I have no need

To shout and let my anger out

This pill bug anger inside of me

So here I am in Spring

So here I am in Spring
Again, a season old
I ask myself again
What I asked in Winter cold

My answer just the same
It has not changed at all
So am I growing still
On to Summer, next is Fall

Summer saw a moment

Summer saw a moment

That summer did not make

A universal moment

That made the summer break

Speckled with shattered light

The water tried to hold

All the shattered light

That was weighted down with gold

Even you dear Winter

Even you dear Winter
Cannot be that fierce
Spring is a feather
Through a diamond pierce

Only time will tell

Only time will tell
It may not erase
The breaks in our hearts
And what has taken place

Perhaps we can remove
The walls we built with hurt
And wipe each other's brow
With each other's shirt

Somewhere deep in time

Somewhere deep in time
Is a Sunday lullaby
An afternoon with moon
Transparent in the sky

I come to land and rest
In your arms I curl
My hand in your hand
In a shell a pearl

I demand You of you

I demand You of you
That is all I ask
Not such a hard thing
Or impossible a task

Isn't it so easy
To just let you be You
That is all I ask
And I will be I, too

We barely opened up the gate

We barely opened up the gate
To steal a peek or view
And found the forest set on fire
By the sparks of me and you

I will not write again too soon
And though we snuff it out
There is a spark which lights on you
And I'll carry it throughout

Nature wore its greenest gown

Nature wore its greenest gown
And the sky was gentle blue
The World seemed worlds away from us
Not in our colored view

I love you more than then
So much more I love today
Than all the blooms of roses
And the greens of summer days

I chase to catch my breath

I chase to catch my breath
Your world's so very grand
With oceanic depth
And waves breaking dams

On the verge of a tidal
Every space a storm
All of life is vital
Nothing is the norm

If there is a moonlight
Sonata me to you
Over the caps of white
That sink in an ocean blue

No one saw nor heard me

No one saw nor heard me
When I attempted it again
We all got up next morning
Not knowing of it then

I thought I'd be successful
I promised it would be
The last and final try
Of to be or not to be

But if I'm asked in time
Who was that who died
My answer would be all truth
A stranger, my reply

Do not judge my intellect

Do not judge my intellect
By all these words of sorrow
My heart is yesterday while
My mind is in tomorrow

My heart cries out the loudest
But my mind, it rarely speaks
Sorrow must release itself
But ideas are mine to keep

I entered the backdoor

I entered the backdoor
Of a dream that I was living
Sorry to see for real
All of its misgivings

I may have been more happy
If I had entered through the front
But false, it would have been
I'm glad I found the blunt

Eternity is far too long

Eternity is far too long

For me to wrestle with

I do not want forever

With remembrances unbliss

A bird may only lose

So many of its feather

Before it cannot fly

Regardless of good weather

The sky was always blue to you

The sky was always blue to you
And the waters always still
Didn't you see my boat out there
Its contents about to spill

The birds always sang to you
And trees in fullest bloom
Didn't you see my bough was breaking
Or hear my cradle boom

I’d go, yet it’s not cold

I’d go, yet it’s not cold

And the world is gently turning

As it has and as it will

Though my heart’s stopped yearning

At last there is no battle

It is over and begin

To accept the compromises
When one surrenders to win

We're kinder this way

We're kinder this way
A passing of page
That writes of the heart
And not of the days

Kisses meaningful
When months separate
The days of living
And mornings of wake

Our loves are binding
The stretch of our band
Not only shows strength
But length of our hand

On a ferry boat you took me

On a ferry boat you took me

On cursive waves we sailed

You showed me all the stars you knew

While the lights of Manhattan hailed

And the water fell on water

As the ferry boat churned away

Passing Lady Liberty

Who has not a word to say  

My dreams are like Manhattan lights

Folding on the water

There for just a moment, right there

In a moment, there no longer

The snow fell in June

The snow fell in June

The wind swept each flake

Into sheets for sleep

Snow angels to make

Summer day in sun

Break between two rains

Leaves were on the limb

Trees were in the lane

For years cottonwoods

Graced my shaky step

But sycamores here

Rise above my head

It’s snowing far away

Far from this my park

Dreaming of June snow

Amongst the shedding bark

Walking along the road was I

Walking along the road was I

Beneath a strong and sunny sky

I went to see if you were there

Stepping down your front house stair

But all was still and not a face

And I just seemed so out of place

I turned around and went straight back

Stepping on the sidewalk crack

And walking on the road was I

On shadow clouds from sun and sky

Still thinking how you might be there

Stepping down your front house stair

Where are the gardens

Where are the gardens
Where we used to play
Beneath the spreading shade trees
Along the endless way

And where are the wishes
We kissed and blew away
Beneath the dancing sparkle
Of a distant star array

All the noise has ceased

All the noise has ceased
You neither make nor hear
All the noise now peace
Against your useless ear

Conversations shared
Converse now with me
Once we were a pair
Now one of us is free

I like to think

I like to think
We would have been friends
When we were children
Maybe nine or ten

Trading our summer
Wishes and dreams
Making our fabric
And sewing the seams

This is a poem meant for you

This is a poem meant for you
Its words are gathered whole
It shouts from the heart
And then echoes in the soul

Out of the tomb

Out of the tomb
To find myself in breath
To look at me alive
And not endlessly in death

My soul is awake
Listen my heart beats
I'm out of the grey
Where black and white meets

Gone are clouds and storms

Gone are clouds and storms
We're staring out and wide
Our voices in the wind
As two souls just collide

Now this jewel is real
We show it to the sun
We combine our shadows
Annouce ourselves as one

There wasn't a day for This (illness diagnosed on Leap Year Day)

There wasn't a day for This
And so they added one
To deliver you this fatal kiss
And to balance out the sun

You gave me a map

You gave me a map
A globe laid out and flat
I view it left to right
Though it's up and over that

The World is large and round
We know that it's not flat
And our view from here
Is as different as this and that

I will outlive you

I will outlive you
What life can this be
Somewhere trapped in monotone
And monotony

No words can convey
What I need to say
Besides, whatever's said
Life is life and dead is dead

Yes, so this is it

Yes, so this is it
The outcome no surprise
Like Greek and Roman empires
Now ruins and demise

Look, not a cut
I'm without a scrape
For I sensed the outcome
And planned my escape

I am not a tree of heaven

I am not a tree of heaven
To spring from sidewalks cracks
To grow against brick walls
Or in soil which only lacks

As I stare at all the trees
I wonder which would be
The one that I would choose
If I could choose to be a tree

You said your words too quickly

You said your words too quickly
You did not speak in turn
I had no time to answer
And your question went unearned

Your pace is far too fast
I'm afraid you'll turn around
You'll surely see me failing
As you find your solid ground

The Earth quietly spins

The Earth quietly spins
In a dark, mysterious place
We call this home, sad to think
It's really outerspace

Lonely is the planet Earth
That spins on and moves ahead
Lonely there beside this hill
For those who love the dead

Unsure of when I started

Unsure of when I started
And now I'm towards the end
Solving a life mystery
That somewhere lies within

To have reached my conclusion
Blind as a stone and see
The answer without doubt
As true as Truth can be

I looked at the horizon

I looked at the horizon
Dividing here and there
I looked up at the sky
Earth and who knows where

I looked down at my feet
And slowly I can see
Northing really matters
Everything a small degree

I saw a dead man

I saw a dead man
Walking home today
He did not ask the time
Nor had a word to say

I turned many corners
He closely followed more
As if his home were mine
And his key would fit my door

All the Gods are dead

All the Gods are dead

And the day is just a churn

There’s no make believe

Each day I grow more stern

Wars are over there

And the radiation plumes

While children play here

The magnolia tree blooms

The continuous unwrapping

The continuous unwrapping

The gift that does not last

Here one moment then

The past is just the past

Time is walking forward

It arrives and then it goes

Time is here and now

Then time is just ago

There is no remedy

There is no remedy

This is where I sit

No place to go

Nothing more exquisite

Here is where I spend

All my daylight hours

With no room to spare

And no tall scraping towers

Take up the broom, put down the rake

Take up the broom, put down the rake

Put an end to this end of it all

It’s over but still you are living

Answer the beckoning call

Last breath in and breath out

What difference do these days make

Take death into your own hands

Take up the broom, put down the rake

I live without a waterline

I live without a waterline

The constant wave and current

Facing my yearly fears

That stand on their own warrant

Here again the pushing

The breaking of my door

The World demands my world
When I did not ask for more

The crow flies with the dove

The crow flies with the dove

The past is present tense

What to do with my regret

Remorse my consequence

To have and to hold

Still so much to cherish

While all of this is here

Yet all is here to perish

No bridges or roads

No bridges or roads

I circle in flight

Day in and day out

From dark to daylight

The moon and the sun

Are never at rest

Only the waves

Are brought to a crest

So short on this side

So short on this side
We're living behind
This side of the equation
The less than equal sign

Even old trees get
The short end of the stick
Too much candle
Not enough wick

The long limbs of the trees spread (2nd version)

The long limbs of the trees spread
Beneath a blue sky with planes
Where looking down it could be said
There's the rivers, the roads, the trains

The Universe wears a huge skirt
And somewhere in its folds
I love life though it passes me by
Days into weeks, into months, into years going by

A flock of birds like black fireworks

A flock of birds like black fireworks

Dart into a twilight sky

While hundreds of Canada geese point

Towards the East and fly

Just beside the road I see

This form of death, this slaying

What tragedy has happened here

These six geese a laying

So this is Life

So this is Life

From the root

Pretty flower

Ugly fruit

Twenty years seems forever

Twenty years seems forever

Not so when counting seasons

Twenty winters to the never

Seems shorter to my reasons

Twenty winters yet to go

Who cares about the Spring

I’m dreaming of the winter snow
And not the blossoming

I wish Winter would hold on

I wish Winter would hold on

I need four months not three

But here comes the dreaded Spring

That asks too much of me

That asks too much of all

It pushes forth the green

And teases me with morning frost

When I want a Winter scene

I've stepped aside, stepped back

I’ve stepped aside, stepped back

I see life at a distance

Not caught in chasing time

No longer feeling a resistance

Hoping Winter lasts weeks longer

Not longing for the Spring

Hiding in my clothes, just hiding

To see what hibernation brings

I live in a house with blonde wood

I live in a house with blonde wood
And pink tiles that are lit
By sunlight through white shudders
Found by one cat sitting Egypt

I could have held you in my arms

I could have held you in my arms
Instead I held you down
My heart fell off my sleeve
Carl's fog fell on the ground

Photographs from Hubble
Bring awe of stars and space
How small we are and fog
On paws without a trace

Outside Carl's fog

Outside Carl's fog
And on the inside I fell
How came I to the second
Definition of held

I held you down not closely
Millions praying to St. Jude
Countless, worthless prayers
There's nothing they can do

My memory of you

My memory of you
This is what I know
How is it I held you
More so, let you go

Carl Sandberg's fog
On the ground lay flat
Your name forever called
My memory is that

They knocked your lights out

They knocked your lights out
While I was holding you down
The second definition of held
My arms did not wrap you around

Now I know

Now I know
What I'm about
I've etched my mark
Into the Shout

The structure that
I have built
Is evidence
The world is tilt

Love is not an infinite

 Love is not an infinite
One plus one is two
Reality, the definite
When my eyes see you

Friend, respond to my voice

Friend, respond to my voice
I sing and you are here
Angry when I leave you
Though I am always near

And in the heart, the love
Without language, without thought
That travels on air
Replenishing without draught

I know my life will alter

I know my life will alter
I can wed myself to me
And the changes like the waves
Will be folding on the sea

I went to my highest point

I went to my highest point
To find the infinite
I touched outerspace
But couldn't live in it

So at the start of far
Searching for the smallest small
Beneath a galaxy of stars
Is dust and particles

This is the overwhelm

This is the overwhelm
The swelling of the well
My heart goes out and out
Yet never leaves the shell

The ocean is a raindrop
A sun is just a spark
Left reaches and touches right
Like light that goes to dark

Sad to see so much faith

Sad to see so much faith
Spent energy on useless prayer
The worthlessness of words
Wasted on an earless air

Everyday I dream of the Empire

Everyday I dream of the Empire
So many years away from there
Alas, I'm standing on it
Staring out at air

I can feel the upward drafts
Can they hold me up, I ask
Suspending me and cycling
And to gently throw me back

As I search the sky for why

As I search the sky for why
You sniff my eyes and kiss
You do not wonder why nor try
To explain one bit of this

No aliens or savior
Not wanting for eternity
In the moment, this very moment
We touch serenity

The two of us are holding

The two of us are holding
While a comet is up there
As if someone pulled and hurled
The moon's last silver hair

And your hair is thin and fine
Our universe is mapped
In thousands of years from now
Only the comet will be back

To fall within the outlines

To fall within the outlines
Of where a shadow falls
Is to confine oneself
Inside the highest walls

I've gone and clipped my wings

I've gone and clipped my wings
Never again to soar in flight
The view from there - the larger view
Did not coincide with Life

Though I know of greater things
Vast and varied worlds from here
I will not fly - and for every sky
There's some land to clear

So I've gone and clipped my wings
With feathers faulting in air
I've seen the view - the larger sight
So ask me if I care

I am a tree among the flowers

I am a tree among the flowers
Not so glorious in view
Nor so brief and exquisite
To attract the glancing you

Let me retrace my footsteps

Let me retrace my footsteps
Imprinted on the snow
They went to your front door
Though you didn't know

Let me turn around
And go back where I came
I cannot go on further
I do not feel the same

Let me go back home
And enter through my door
And shut it, bolt it, lock it
And think of you no more

Someday you'll find a better me

Someday you'll find a better me
But for now I will do
I haven't years beneath my belt
And won't let go of youth

Someday you'll find a wiser me
But for now all I know
Are questions left unanswered
And yet I ask them so

Someday you'll find an older me
But for now I am young
I haven't found my voice yet
Nor has my song been sung

And someday you'll find a clearer me
But for now I will do
I haven't passed through clouds yet
To find a clearer blue

I could feel your arm

I could feel your arm
Locked inside my own
Pressed between ourselves
To the world it was not shown

And for that moment briefly
All the noise surrendered
And silence in its victory
Paused to remember

And I could feel your arm
Loosely then fall under
For we had stolen time
Now noise beats on like thunder

I used to climb a tree

I used to climb a tree
I now stay on the ground
I sit beneath the limbs
Looking up instead of down

I never knew that I would sit
Beneath a climbing tree
I once swore to not come down
But how could I know this me

How came I to this resting place

How came I to this resting place
To step aside, to quit my pace
To slowly watch all things go by
Intently stare as you bid bye

That your existence ceased for me
To have you robbed, to have you free
To wonder why and in such haste
How came I to this resting place

And no one else is here

And no one else is here
No one near or by
Are you me, I ask
Like clouds might ask the sky

To separate and part
No one heart is whole
Are you me, I ask
Like hell might ask a hole

To feel me watching me
No one see the bone
Are you me, I ask
Like sand might ask of stone

So you've come to this

So you've come to this
Sorting through the wreckage
Of our destructive kiss
Searching for a message

So much time has lapsed
And yet you still continue
To live among collapsed
And shattered dreams within you

It's sad to be ending

It's sad to be ending
On a sixteenth note
Not much to be said
Nor anything to be wrote

Cease this side of the equation

Cease this side of the equation
All is jumbled from birth
Caught in a spirograph of travel
On the landscape of Earth

We face pain too much
Until a natural end
I repent my past poetry
Screwed to paper by a pen

There is no greatness in this moment

There is no greatness in this moment
No brilliant idea
Nor a pure state of grace
A true peace is not here

It's just shuffling of words
Small sentences to utter
Consonants and vowels
And the arrangement of letters

In need of more energy

In need of more energy
E should equal m c squared, plus one
And time just might be still
But all we do is run

In a canvas painted green

In a canvas painted green
We planted like Pissaro
In a silver misted air
We planted a tomorrow

Letters spelling out
What a kite could see
Look to the beginning
And the curves in the D

Here I am waiting

Here I am waiting
With the rain outside
Caught in my own storm
That doesn't subside

The Universe is dark

The Universe is dark
I know nothing of its place
Why only spheres for planets
Why do they spin in space

Are there squares just fixed
Like building blocks about
Or pyramids with power
To travel all throughout

When I visit the ocean

When I visit the ocean
I come to know your sea
And in your eyes, waves
Tidal or tame they be

But you never cross the land
To come and visit me
Or see the Earth in my eyes
Or the weathered oak tree

Our years gone in seconds

Our years gone in seconds
The center of my world
The whirlpool of daily life
Has unraveled and uncurled

Time only heals small wounds
Sometimes, it is a wedge
The apple of my eye
Fell over the edge

Too tired for conquest

Too tired for conquest
I'll just sit beneath the trees
Stars between branches
Make smaller of me

Bats in the clearing
Above the firefly glows
What is the answer
No one here knows

Hurry - we're racing

Hurry - we're racing
Against time and night
The sun is ours for hours
Until we spin out of sight

I wanted to have this day
Two trespassers on Earth
Someday we'll not be living
Today we seize our birth

There were no painted clouds

There were no painted clouds
In our painted sky
The trees in brushstokes
Above the passerby

In the woods, the deer
Motionless as we hushed
A picture without a frame
Two artists without a brush

I never mentioned the important

I never mentioned the important
The one thought foremost to you
I chattered not one letter
To form a word or two

I am not your validation
Though I forever see your whole
I never once spoke importance
To step in to touch your soul

I too have a dream

I too have a dream
Let me respond
I appear like a mirror
But I am a pond

Beneath reflections
Of white clouds and sky
My depth holds my dreams
One day, fish will fly

With just one hand

With just one hand
I want to sweep away the hill
I want to push my palm
On top of mountains, until

Within seconds
I've reversed the work of glaciers
Returned the land to flatness
With my fingers like erasers

So much of Earth towers

So much of Earth towers
Or has the depth of sea
That flat land makes equal
And is eye to eye with me

Let the world be big
But mine is plain to see
One continuous note
And not the do re mi

I love your silence

I love your silence
Your language of eyes
The attention you're giving
Each time I arrive

Your touching and greeting
To meet with my hand
I shout out I love you
And you understand

I had a break somewhere

I had a break somewhere
A mental break or tear
My heart only knew of this
When my mind would not let it kiss

And my soul overheard
When my heart sent the word
To my body to give in
There's a break somewhere within

Again, I'm in this minute

Again, I'm in this minute
These few moments that make
All Life and my living
A mere drop in the wake

Of time, that is winning
It's a tide with a tow
That pulls you out further
And then never lets you go

Who could fathom

Who could fathom
This north and south
A divided Switzerland
This house against house

Not sad for the past
But what might have been
Grow up or grow out
Unite Switzerland

I leaned as the fireworks bloomed

I leaned as the fireworks bloomed
Against you, I could see the night
In your eyes the colors streaking
And the fading of their light

No issues, no journals

No issues, no journals
Just conversation spent
On passing air and time
The rivers and currents

No danger, no sensation
Self erasing without evidence
Living without maintaining
Finding present tense

Another winter without you

Another winter without you
I no longer wonder at stars
Here I am alive on Earth
Looking up at Mars

There are no such things as ghosts
Our love would surely know
And no such things as angels
Just arms waving in the snow

There are no such things as ghosts
Our love would surely prove
And no such things as angels
Just arms waiting here for you

Carl's fog is here

Carl's fog is here
I only think of you
I ask myself the why's
Beauty graces us then dies

Photographs from space
Bring awe of everything, and not
How small we are, like fog
Here, and then forgot

How hard I held you

How hard I held you
Too tight for a tender bird
And I let go and stepped back
From the wreckage I unfurled

Like Dr. Frankenstein or God
I ran from my creation
I abandoned it without hope
Of correction or explanation

I push off from the shore

I push off from the shore
Mesmerized by dark water
Fearful of capsizing
And unable to charter

So I stay close
To the safety of shore
No realization or discovery
Of something less or more

On the edge of my front steps

On the edge of my front steps
I'm hanging on by toes
Infinite numbers add up to one
Yet I am never whole

Every birthday, I feel landlocked

Every birthday, I feel landlocked
Somewhere, not here, I could sail
And every day I'd set off
Out on the twelve month trail

And the winter snow bleaches
All that summer and autumn roars
Landlocked on winter beaches
Of snow that has no shores

JFK, Jr

Rushing to make up time
America's son
To only lose all of time
For three and not just one

A haze on the moon and sun
Did you mistake the shoreline
For the horizon, and
Into the ocean plunge

Why all this rope?

Why all this rope?
I only need a thread
I found my grain of sand
In my ocean bed

Off the island of Staten

Off the island of Staten
Past the Statue of Liberty
Ride into Manhattan
The ferry boat and me

Walk from Sourth Ferry towards Center
To catch the green subway
To Union Square I enter
I'm at 17th off Broadway

Walking on ancient soil

Walking on ancient soil
With Orion in my view
Searching for my people
Seeking Life's haiku

But stars are so unstrung
Can I see, I to I
My shoulders are getting older
My third eye a stye

You are unique, common snowflake

You are unique, common snowflake
How much of us was we
I gave you everything but forever
You gave me everything that's me

How kind we were together
Nothing more now can be said
For all the years behind us
And all my years ahead

This is my peace with you

This is my peace with you
Unfold your arms and rest
I ask no more for your defeat
And my winnings less

There is a wide

There is a wide
That can fit inside
All of your heart
And not fall apart

There is a length
For all of your strength
That does not bend
Or seem to end

There is a depth
For each deep breath
That touches the soul
In its furthest knoll

We can go kiting

We can go kiting
Just the two of us
And never get caught
In a gale or gust

So close our tails fly
With never a tangle
The two of us kiting
From so different an angle

My anchor is not set

My anchor is not set
I'm a pirate on the sea
Don't ask me if I'm home
No latitude is me

I have the frequent port
Where I know to leave
I pull my anchor in
Like the heart on my sleeve

Gone is the fire (July 26, 2001)

Gone is the fire
That kept me warm
The rest of the story
On pages torn

All of our days
Written in code
In our DNA
The spiral, our road

Is preaching the word

Is preaching the word
Setting you free
Are you closer to heaven
By trespassing me

Sad for the cardinal
As Red as its state
The chickadees are leaving
To wrestle with fate

Here I am shouting

Here I am shouting
I know I will be hushed
I love you in this day
That time will surely crush

Arguing for sanity
Against the wild and the weed
I am one flower in time
That will never go to seed

Academics cannot help write this work

Academics cannot help write this work
Absurd to think a book can help me
No book can give me my next word
Not even academics can make a pea

It's time to forget

It's time to forget
Foolish to harbor regret
Kiss the black crow
And let it go

It's too harsh to live
With any kind of weights
Keep them too long
They become your traits

As the sun descends red

As the sun descends red
The evening has an hour of glow
As the cardinal chirps to its wed
Off to bed, we must go

Lost pennies

Lost pennies
Are a beggar's find
I lose them often
I don't mind

When I think
That one shall find
My shiny pennies
I don't mind

I live from dream to dream

I live from dream to dream
Each within a shell
Sometimes I find a pearl of white
Sometimes I just can't tell

Some are in the deepest ocean
Some are in a shallow sea
Some are either lost or drowning
Bringing down the waves on me

So if your shell is hollow
And your dream is gone
Put your ear against the watershell
And listen for a song

And if this song calls out to you
And winds your body around
Crawl in and make a perfect pearl
Within the water's sound

Rescue me and I feel unsafe

Rescue me and I feel unsafe
Give me directions and I'm lost or late
My heart breaks on gentle things
I know I'm free but I must migrate

I have my own summer and winter
I'm either explosion or black hole
Racing between failure and success
And I'm failing to succeed on the whole

Broken with all the pieces

Broken with all the pieces
Like a sidewalk or a rose
Quilt me with your needle
Four chambers and two hose

Somewhere Orion hides

Somewhere Orion hides
Behind the winter skies
Against a winter night
Beyond the clouds, he lies

The North Star brings us home
Behind our separate doors
And there, our separate lives
Continue there once more

I guess this is a story

I guess this is a story
Maybe one you've heard
Just another story
Like all sparrows, just a bird

I guess this is my story
Nothing new, just old
Just the same story
By someone else told

After the surrender

After the surrender
When all the noise has died
And those who've chosen sleep
And nothing makes them rise

And all the smoke is clouds
In skies, the deepest blue
After the surrender
I still have wars with you

Love is never seasonal

Love is never seasonal
It is not bound by weather
It is as strong as lightning
And as soft as a feather

Night is a visitor

Night is a visitor
Offers personal conversation
It bears a gift of sleep
But day is by invitation

I can choose my love

I can choose my love
So that it does not choose for me
And make me fall in love
With an impossibility

Sound was dead

Sound was dead
Dead as light
That I put out
To bring on night

Voices hushed
Not to wake
The dead still air
Like ice may break

All the world
Stays outside
And life and death
But once collide

In search for a lesser dream

In search for a lesser dream
Watching blurs slow down
My body turns to calm
My ears opening to sound

On impact with what is real
I protect my eyes and heart
From the flying pieces
Of dreams that smash apart

And so begins the search
For a lesser dream to have
A search among the pieces
That are halves of other halves

There is a silence that runs deep

There is a silence that runs deep
Between each noise and sound
It's louder than the waves above
That hit the waiting ground

There is a cry that is so silent
That will not let you tear
It's louder than the greatest cries
That one so often hears

The grass was blonde and blowing

The grass was blonde and blowing
The corn too high to see
How deep the field was growing
How far the distant tree

I would give up all my knowings
To know that you are free
Of all life's undertowings
But this, it cannot be

Autumn gives an early showing
The air with autumn breathes
And August is quickly going
And so too the summer leaves

There is a sentence

There is a sentence
That does not end
No period at all
To make amend

It runs on through life
It strongly goes
Escaping no one
Yet no one knows

And it is longer than life
So much longer than
But we'll never know
And its friend is and

My heart has a spring

My heart has a spring
Pull it and you'll see
The harder that you pull
The more it wants of me

My mind has a lock
Check it and believe
The more you say let in
The surer you have no key

I promise you three rooms

I promise you three rooms
Of the four that are my heart
But leave me the one
To tell myself apart

And all of this is yours
Do you gladly accept
Or am I dreaming love
A dream I just expect

I give you these three rooms
Of the four that I have
but leave for me just one
For you have more than half

I know you wait for me

I know you wait for me
And watch for when I come
Just before the night
Pushes out the sun

Tonight, you'll wait and wait
No footsteps at the door
You'll hear sounds like
My footsteps on the floor

Jumping to the window
Yet, no one there in sight
As the sun is pushed
Over by the night

There is an echo

There is an echo
That does not end
Between our lives
It comes back again

I know its words
And what caused this shout
It is back again
I can still make it out

I have but one regret

I have but one regret
That I did not say
What I said just once
A thousand times that day

Now that I can't repeat
Those words for you to hear
Though I say them often
Now that you're not near

My mind remembers all
So, too, this one regret
I did not say a thousand times
Should your mind forget

You never looked more you

You never looked more you
On top of that ball of snow
Like a mountain, there you viewed
A long flat world below

I could feel your yearning
Your belonging to the hills
Your eyes stared and journied
Your heart partially fulfilled

That ball of snow was small
Flatland widened your inside
You heard a mountain call
Be as tall as you are wide

I no longer love you

I no longer love you
No matter if you sway
I care nothing for you now
So do not bend my way

My love has found an out
This train of thought derailed
You cannot move me if
You're a storm and I'm a sail

Though when I love, I love
But mortality is real
I no longer love you
And towards you, no longer feel

I could swallow your world whole

I could swallow your world whole
And it would never touch my side
Your world's so very small
And not at all so wide

But if you choose to chew
My world, so very big
You could not eat it all
Even if you were a pig

I find you more upset

I find you more upset
Over failed manipulation
Than your doing something wrong
To someone in calculation

The anger from being caught
Will supersede your sorrow
For someone you hurt today
And again, will hurt tomorrow

It is amazingly funny

It is amazingly funny
That you think I do
I did this once, not again
Will I fall in love with you

That you think I care
Oh, but I've been taught
This poem is very small
And still bigger than my thought

The fields are black and growing

The fields are black and growing
But, oh I cannot see
The ends are never showing
When land is flat and free

Trees like smoke, on edges
Of soil laid out in sun
No fences or long hedges
To break the distance run

The clouds are all scattered

The clouds are all scattered
The sunlight by chance falls
Making a bright window
White on my white walls

You're sitting in this window
That moves and grows more grey
As the minutes slip
In the hours of the day

And framed in the panes
Is a painting of a painter
With shadows that darken
As the sunlight grows fainter

Gone is the window!
That had held you there
The clouds pulled together
The painting in thin air

There will be a winter

There will be a Winter
For you it will arrive
Earlier than most
Before the leaves have died

I feel the air is cold
Yet there's budding roses
I cannot stop the chill
With perhapes or supposes

I can see you in November
With birds still in the north
For you, an early Winter
Though for me, July the fourth

Will you feel the same

Will you feel the same
As I feel complete
Seeing all the views
From the same window seat

Does the Earth feel round
As we take these looks
Out across the sky
Between the poplar crooks

If only there are words
That as we feel, they speak
Would you feel the same
As I feel complete

January 8th has fixed clouds

January 8th has fixed clouds
With a sun more grey than white
My future is a close tomorrow
Not a distant height

I walked as miles passed
The clouds unmoved and low
I dreamt tomorrow here
When today is all I know

Kindness is intelligence
That's how I feel today
And January 8th has fixed clouds
With a sun not white but grey

I thought of you

I thought of you
As the sunlight slanted
Over the Earth
As I stood planted

What is an ocean
Smaller than sky
Smaller than Earth
All bigger than I